2009 Life

So, as my first blog entry, I'd like to rant about 2009 so far...

January

wow it was amazing... i had a boyfriend who I honest to God loved... I had friends... until Jan 26, when my boyfriend left me and my friends went with him, yeah yeah yeah, you can say they weren't my real friends, blah blah blah whatever. one was my friends since preschool, one was from kindergarten, another from 7th grade and another from 6th grade...oh and another one from preschool, aw what the hell, they were: Tori and Jessi (preschool), Olivia (Kindergarten), Ciara (6th grade), and Dianna (7th grade) anyways... jessi, olivia, ciara and dianna all turned their backs on me.. Olivia and Jessi both liked Kane (the ex boyfriend), oh and kane and i dated for almost a year... today actually wouldve been our 1 year. yippee. anyways, tori and i always were the closest ones. but jessi would get jealous and she would basically do anything to keep tori away from me. uhm okay, lets go to feburary. oh and in Jan i'm still on speaking terms with Kane.

Febuary

oh boy. February. So, Kane and I are broken up, and we dont really talk a lot but if i texted him he would answer and we were still kinda friends, k? alright, so who do i run into on Valentines Day? yeah, Kane. Of all freakin days...anyways, we pull up behind him at a gas station near both our houses, and i wave and he kinda waves back, gets in his car and leaves. i'm like well thats great. and i text him and we make small talk and whatever, so i go home and later that night, around 7:45pm, i get a text from Kane saying: "I've decided I don't want you in my life anymore, because you're constant text interrupts my fun and you force me to think about you." okay yeah wtf? I hardly texted him, and when he sent that, the first text i sent him was the one from the gas station *sarcasm* i sure texted him a lot.. and force him to think about me? uh yeah. are you like retarded? i cant force someone to think about me. Anyways, i'm all depressed and shit for Febuary and March....oh and when kane sent that text, he was hanging out with Jessi and Olivia having a party.

March

nothing really exciting happens... i meet this guy who is head over heels for me, his name is John, and honestly, i wasn't over Kane enough to see anyone else like that... so I just hung out with John thinking, hey maybe things will change and i will fall for him and it never did... anyways, now he and I aren't talking because over spring break, i wanted to talk to my close friend Jenks who was going off to the army April 1. Okay, correct me if i'm wrong but i think going over to someones house to hang out with them and be on the phone the whole time does seem rude yes? well apparently john never got that... idk how but anyways he then tells me later, hey i'm not gonna be your date for prom anymore. well fantastic. Prom was 2 weeks away!!!! wtf!! anyways, so then i was dateless, friendless and just all together feeling pretty alone. how fantastic right?? oh jessi is in my english class, so she "plays nice" by telling me how much her and Kane hang out everyday after school, i'm like gee thanks for rubbing it in my face. bitch. oh so also, i finally have enough of the whole kane not talking to me shit, because i want some answers, and so i go over to his house one day after school, well, guess what? no jessi wasnt there, but he was freakin sleeping. so his brother let me in and i talked to kane, not a whole lot came from him, all he said was i dont want to be mean. i told him say it to my face that he didnt want me in his life anymore. he couldnt. idk what that means but whatever.

April

oh man. april... ha. so I text john and he doesnt even want to talk to me.. like at all..and i see him every freakin day at school... yeah whoopie do.. and i text kane sometimes, but he never answers... uhm... i texted him today and said happy 1 year. never got a responce, i REALLY wish i did though :/ and lets see.. oh. freakin Easter day, what happens? My rabbit dies. yeah. on fuckin easter. how ironically horrible and just seriously what the hell? I am a wreck and my dad had to pull me out of school because i was crying so much in my classes. i look like shit because my eyes are all puffy.. like they are almost closed yeah thats how puffy they are. So... yeah thats my life so far.

oh and i'm drifting away from tori, and all my other friends too.. thats what it feels like anyways.

the farm i've been working at for 8 years is being flooded thanks to the government, yeah i hate it. I cry when i think of it... they haven't found a place to stay and they have 22 horses to move... :/ i'm so worried... i love those horses so much, its the only place i forget about Kane, John, Jenks and life. i just ride my horses and laugh carefreely... it sounds weird when i laugh like that because it feels like its been forever since i have... :/ my parents are also pissing me off... dont ask what they do, they just do. they'll just try to be breathing down my neck and i wanna slap them in the face. seriously. leave me alone. but they wont. i'm worried about my brother too.. hes as crushed as i am about Bella, my rabbit. He loved her so much... :[ we don't know what happened to her. it was so sudden...

Yeah,

Life hates me.